Things I'm Not Doing
This is how I feel!
In case you missed the baby post, we are about 11 weeks along with Baby #2. Which means the entire holidays have been a haze of nausea, bone deep exhaustion, and a complete lack of enthusiasm, energy, or enjoyment for pretty much anything. And since my brain is just barely starting to put together coherent thoughts again, I am going to write this as a list.
There came a point somewhere during the holidays that I decided there were things I was ok not doing right now. I felt a lot of freedom in it actually. Letting go of the unspoken "should do's" that I for some reason keep coming up with and following them as if anything less was failing. My husband usually breaks through that for me with a "I never asked you to do any of that. Why do you put so much on yourself?" Just yesterday he said something to the effect of, "I don't care about any of that. All I really want is for the table to be cleared off." Ummm.... I can do that. Did I mention my husband is wonderful?
So here's the list.
THINGS I'M NOT DOING
1. Making my own yogurt.
I really like making my own. It's not that hard. Still not doing it.
2. Making my own broth
Even though I have like 5 bags of bones and veggies ready to go in the freezer and it's WAYYYY cheaper. Do I really want the noxious smell of chicken broth pervading my home for 24+ hours? I hate the smell when I'm not pregnant. Let me tell you, that is a recipe for a vomit explosion right now.
3. Scrubbing my toilets.
I'm embarrassed to admit the last time I cleaned them. We are probably talking in the months here. I think my husband cleaned them a couple weeks ago for me. Hallelujah!
4. Doing (much) laundry
Juan has been kinda taking over here too. I think we went three weeks with the last load of clean clothes just sitting in a laundry basket in our room and me trying to figure out where all my underwear went, before he jumped in.
5. Cooking (many) dinners
I didn't cook anything the whole 2 weeks he was off for Christmas. I've barely cooked anything since he went back to school. Either he cooks, we eat out, or it's something UBER easy like frozen pizza or baked potatoes.
6. Coming up with fun, creative things for Joseph to do
Ummm..."Play with your toys while Mommy lies down on the floor. No, please don't hit Mommy in the head with a block. PLEEEEASE go play with your toys!" Perhaps if I'm really desperate, I take him to the grocery store or something to kill time until lunch and the golden nap time hour where I will stumble off to bed as soon as he's in his crib.
7. Keeping up with the bank accounts
I'm making sure the bills get paid. Period. Which is really only two of them since the rest are auto pay. I'm pretty sure we still have money in the accounts....or at least we did when I last checked. Which may or may not have been in November.
8. Doing pretty much anything social
I go nowhere and see no one if I can help it. No offense to any of my friends or church family! I just don't have it in me right now. First trimester coupled with a depleted introvert is a recipe for hibernation.
9. Planning and goal setting for the year
I definitely have a side that loves to plan and make lists and goals. NOT right now. I can't even get close to thinking about a goal or plan or making a list without wanting to throw up. So New Years has come and gone and we are just coasting into January. Hope there's nothing important I'm forgetting about...
10. Washing my hair regularly and looking cute
I can't remember when I washed my hair last. It may or may not have been six days ago. But it's cold, and I'm so tired, and I HATE washing my hair!
And all of my pants are too tight and I hate my one pair of maternity ones so it's yoga pants day in and day out and I already want to burn them. And I'm cold and I have practically zero winter clothes that fit me right now so I'm schlepping around in my husbands sweatshirt, but at least I'm warm!
Maybe some day it will warm up and I will have a cute maternity top and bottoms I can wear (when I ever end up leaving the house) But until then, I'm looking a bit like a bag lady.
Sorry Honey. (Did I mention how wonderful he is yet?)
So yeah.
There it is. A small list of things I'm not doing and feeling free about....or at least ok with until I feel more alive again.